The Wall

Inspired by Isaiah 58-59

Since the day I was born, I started building this wall. Stone by stone, I scavenged from the world around me. Sometimes I say I am building this wall to protect myself. Other days I build it because I want to be noticed. Mostly, I build it because I love building this wall. It's mine – my creation. Then one day I wake up and I notice my wall for what it really is. Every stone I add blocks out the sun, casting my world into shadow. I keep adding until my wall isn't just a wall anymore: it's my prison – a little box I've built just for me and trapped myself in. Now I'm stuck. You see my wall is my sin, piled higher and higher until I can see no way out. I try to ask help from my neighbors. I haven't seen them in a while. They are either too busy with their own walls or they can't hear me anymore. Only God can hear me. But God is a breaker down of walls. Do I really want him to ruin what I've built?

I will wait until I can take my cage no more. “God!” I cry, “Please come break down my wall. I'm sorry I built it. I want to be free.”

God comes and breaks down the wall. Scatters the stones and I revel in light and wind and freedom. But then I remember the safety and security of my wall – How I loved building that wall. Piece by piece I reconstruct. God sees me and I still see him, so it's not too bad. Every once in a while I get a stone too high or too heavy, or it gets in my face and I ask Jesus to take it away. He is always so kind as he removes it, but I always seem to find it again.

Some days I don't always work on my wall. I talk to Jesus and he gives me a new kind of stone. His stone doesn't block out light and is not heavy like my stones. Somehow it seems to glow with its own light. Someday, I think, I would love to build a wall out of these kinds of stones. Jesus says that these stones aren't for building walls. I throw it into a pile of unused materials.

Jesus also talks to me about getting rid of some of the stones in my wall. First, he started with the little stuff that fills in the holes. Lately he's been asking about a couple of my big stones at the bottom. These are my foundation stones. Jesus tells me that he will be my foundation. Sometimes I don't understand what Jesus is talking about.

One day Jesus asks me to leave my wall of stones. Since I'm free, why continue life tied to the same spot, the same stones? He asks me to bring along my glowing stones, the ones he gave me. I look out on the world. Lots of people gathering stones. Big stones, little stones, some stones I never knew existed. They are building their walls, like me. But today I'm just gonna go walking with Jesus. Not too far, I wouldn't want to lose my wall. I think, “I will build a wall around my glowy stones.” that way I can keep them safe. I told Jesus I was building it for him, but he didn't like that idea much.

Jesus asks me to give my glowing stones away. Why would I do that? Then I wouldn't have any. Jesus promises that I will never be without glowing stones again, I just have to ask for them. At first it's very hard to give away my glowing stones. They have become precious to me. Most people don't seem to want them, can't see the value of stones that don't go in your wall.

Sometimes I exchange glowing stones with another wanderer, free from their walls. When we exchange our stones, all the stones seem to glow brighter. From time to time, I chuck stones over walls that are taller than me. I hope they find the glowy stone. Once I saw someone drop the stone I had given them. I went to pick it up, but Jesus stopped me. My job was to give the glowy stones away, not control what happens after they leave my hands.

On very special days, I can give a stone to someone who has never seen one before. They accept it and ponder it and take it back to their wall. I pray that the glowy stone will remind them of Jesus.

Some days I get tired of walking, giving away stones. I start to build a new wall, but I never get very far. Jesus shows me another person to give a glowy stone to and I am off once again.

Jesus says that every stone I give away is building a mansion for me in his hometown. Someday I'll get there and see it. It will be light and airy and free and completely unlike every wall I've tried to build before. Why even bother with ordinary stones anymore?